Very little makes me happier than when somebody looks at something from an angle that has never occurred to me before, which is exactly what The School Of Life does in this video on how to remain calm with people.
He presents our tendency to feel victimised when people inconvenience us in some way as a form of self-hatred, which I must say is quite a compelling argument:
Part of the reason why jump so readily to dark conclusions, and see plots to insult and harm us, os a rather poignant psychological phenomenon; self-hatred.
The less we like ourselves, the more we appear in our own eyes as really rather plausible targets for mockery and harm. Why would a drill have started up outside just as we were settling down to work? Why did the email not arrive even though we’ll have to be in a meeting very soon? Why would the phone operator be taking so long to find our details? Because there is, logically enough, a plot against us.
Because we’re appropriate targets for these kinds of things. Because we’re the sort of people against whom disruptive drilling is legitimately likely to be directed. It’s what we deserve.
I’m sure I’ll be a much calmer person if I just bear in mind how much everybody loves me…