Very little makes me happier than when somebody looks at something from an angle that has never occurred to me before, which is exactly what The School Of Life does in this video on how to remain calm with people.
He presents our tendency to feel victimised when people inconvenience us in some way as a form of self-hatred, which I must say is quite a compelling argument:
Part of the reason why jump so readily to dark conclusions, and see plots to insult and harm us, os a rather poignant psychological phenomenon; self-hatred.
The less we like ourselves, the more we appear in our own eyes as really rather plausible targets for mockery and harm. Why would a drill have started up outside just as we were settling down to work? Why did the email not arrive even though we’ll have to be in a meeting very soon? Why would the phone operator be taking so long to find our details? Because there is, logically enough, a plot against us.
Because we’re appropriate targets for these kinds of things. Because we’re the sort of people against whom disruptive drilling is legitimately likely to be directed. It’s what we deserve.
I’m sure I’ll be a much calmer person if I just bear in mind how much everybody loves me…
What is happiness? That’s the question at the heart of this short film by Steve Cutts. How many of the things we do or buy or pursue genuinely make us happy?
There are no neat answers offered here, and that’s the way it should be. But it’s hard not to ask whether we’d be better off stepping out of the rat race for just a second, so that we might find some for ourselves.
"The greatest enemy of knowledge isn’t ignorance, it’s the illusion of knowledge."
July 31, 2020 3:41 pm - Steve Peters
I’ve been hitting it pretty hard on the writing recently. A couple of months ago I set myself the target of writing every day, and so far, so good. It’s been hard, there have been sacrifices, but that’s what it takes to be successful. Right? Right?? Lately, I’ve been wondering about that. My focus on…continue reading on Medium…
We’re all searching for happiness. For the perfect job or partner or trinket which will complete us. But even if we get it, the happiness we hoped for is, at best, short-lived. So why not start with the happiness first? What if being happy is what creates success?
If we genuinely want to be happy, we have to create it. Why? Because we can’t wait around for a specific event, date, or object to come into our lives. If it doesn’t happen, our happiness will never occur. More importantly, studies continue to show this concept is backward, as happiness fuels long-term success and fulfillment, not the other way around.
Kurzgesagt (please don’t ask me to pronounce that) with a beautifully produced video about how we can free ourselves from dissatisfaction. And how gratitude is the best tool we have for doing so:
Scientists found that gratitude stimulates the pathways in your brain involved with feelings of reward, forming social bonds, and interpreting others’ intentions. It also makes it easier to save and receive positive memories.
Even more, gratitude directly counteracts negative feelings and traits, like envy and social comparison, narcissism, cynicism, and materialism. As a consequence, people who are grateful, no matter what for, tend to be happier and more satisfied.
Happiness isn’t feeing good, happiness is finding something more important that feeling good. It’s finding something that you’re willing to be dissatisfied for.
If you think about raising a kid or her;ing out a family member who’s on hard times, or earning your degree. Like doing something very difficult. These are all things that aren’t necessarily pleasurable, you’re not necessarily happy doing them, but, they’re worthwhile. And the fact that they’re worthwhile means that you never regret the effort.
July 16, 2020 4:40 pm - Steve Peters
It’s possible to think of your life in such a way that it appears insignificant. You can consider yourself nothing more that one of nearly eight billion people on Earth. Or you could go further, and think of the Earth as the fourth smallest planet in the solar system. Smaller even than some moons. You…continue reading on Medium…