Most of us have been spending a little more time at home lately. And living, working and socialising in the same space is bound to lead to some clutter, as well as some frayed nerves.
It’s not just our physical environment either. Email, social media, our never-ending to do lists, all of them pile up so quickly that were under constant threat of being overwhelmed by them.
But while it’s natural to feel like the only way to stay afloat is to keep moving forward, swimming against the tide as it rises ever higher, it’s worth remembering that we can also stop, pick up a metaphorical bucket, and start bailing.
Today, Leo Babauta reminds us of the importance of clearing things out. Tidying away the old to make room for the new—not to mention to give ourselves room to breathe.
It’s a simple truth that wherever things can accumulate, they will. Emails pile up, clutter piles up, read later list piles up, small admin tasks build up like cruft.
This is the nature of things: they accumulate if we don’t tend to them.
Why are we unkind to ourselves? Where does that voice that tells us that we’re not good enough or that we’re weak or stupid come from? That is truly the million dollar question. Indeed, many people have become millionaires by claiming that they have the answer.
But maybe it hasn’t come from anywhere. Maybe it’s just something that we’ve learned, the same way we learned to speak or to ride a bike. And when we learned it, it became similarly difficult to forget:
Children fluently pick up incredibly complex patterns of speech from listening to this around them ini the early years. A parallel emotional process is going on. If someone when we were little was speaking hate and shame and guilt to us, we will have started to speak like that ourselves. And it won’t be easy in adulthood to learn a new language. Let alone to come to speak it fluently to ourselves.
As The School Of Life suggests in the video above, the way to quiet this voice is to learn a new way to speak to ourselves. We can learn this language by listening to different messages around us. Messages that tell us that we’re valuable, that we’re worthy of respect, that we’re worthy of love.
But unlike when we were children, we can also learn this new language through our own study. We don’t need to only listen to those around us and absorb what they say, we can think about how the messages we receive apply to us. We can be intelligent about which we accept and which we decide we’d rather not have become a part of our vocabulary.
A huge part of our self image is forged when we’re too young to do anything about it. We’re moulded by the thoughts and actions of the people around us ways that are far too complex for us to understand. But part of learning to love ourselves is learning that we now have the power to mould ourselves. It won’t be easy, neither was learning to ride a bike.
"What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly."
August 5, 2020 7:41 pm - Steve Peters
The most perfect definition of happiness that I’ve ever heard goes like this: “Happiness is the end of the striving for happiness.” It’s simple and direct and I love it. It works because there’s this tension between striving for happiness and finding happiness that we’re all aware of. Most of us spend our lives alternating…continue reading on Medium…
In the business world there are two kinds of company; vitamin companies, and aspirin companies.
Aspirin companies are easy to market, in fact they hardly need to be marketed at all. People will seek them out because they promise to solve an immediate problem.
Vitamin companies are a little trickier The benefits they offer are ephemeral, their effects take time to accumulate, people need to be convinced of the benefits they offer.
Meditation, if it were a business, would definitely be in the vitamin category. It’s a practice, the benefits of which only become clear after a certain amount of time. For this reason, many consider it to be ineffective at dealing with the more immediate demands of our lives.
But this isn’t necessarily the case. Here, Tiny Buddha offers a few simple mindfulness exercises that can be employed at difficult moments. Some “mindfulness aspirin” if you will. Just don’t forget to keep taking your vitamins…
It seemed allowing others to care for us is sometimes hard to accept. We may view it as a weakness, imagine we are a burden, or not worthy of such attention; and yet we often have no trouble caring for those in need; and may even go out of our way to do so. We might well ask, why the double standard? We are so often, sooner or later in the same boat.
An impressively comprehensive article on the importance of asking for help, and perhaps more importantly, accepting it when it’s given. We’ll all be in this position sooner or later, and how we deal with it can be literally life-changing.